Posted by pegasus on January 14, 2011, at 12:31:58
In reply to Re: My story - long, posted by Daisym on January 11, 2011, at 20:06:25
Thank you so much for this, Daisy. [And, sorry to be so long in replying, after asking you to respond. Busy, busy . . . you know. And I wanted to have a chance to reread your post, and really think about it first.]
I think I get it now. A lot of what you say resonates with me, as well, once you explain it this way. My neediness in therapy terrifies me as well. I was describing your situation in my own session this week, and my T replied, "Who are we talking about here?"
And, also, I think we all have our own unique spin on this stuff, and yours seems to include some very painful, and, yes, narcissistic elements. I'm glad that you intellectually know that it's unreasonable for you to take on the full responsibility for managing boundaries (i.e., your needs) and your T's experience of your therapy. And that the type of thing you've experienced is "just" an example of temporary and healthy work on the part of your T to regain equilibrium (if it even goes that far - of which I am not convinced).
And . . . I think I also have some sense for that devastated, bereft infant who feels that her life/relationship is over because of this. How terrifying to feel that those boundaries are exclusively your job to hold, and at the same time to not trust yourself to do it so well (more than perfectly) that your T never needs to even bring them to mind.
Let me know if any of my paraphrasing doesn't sound quite right yet. This is extremely interesting, and important-feeling, for me to get. Thank you, as always, for sharing it with us.
- P
poster:pegasus
thread:975869
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20101228/msgs/976774.html