Posted by Annabelle Smith on December 28, 2010, at 23:22:54
In reply to Re: overattachment is painful and scary, posted by Annabelle Smith on December 28, 2010, at 21:48:39
I think therapy for me is so hard because while it is about sharing, words are only a part of communication. The question becomes that of how to communicate
Every facial expression, gesture, sound, hesitation, and tone of voice say something. Often, I feel like communication comes via a mood or affective atmosphere that is evoked in the room. When I refer to being true and false, it is often not as much the words as all of these other kinds of communication. I begin to feel so confused and don't know how to be.
It is also hard because during the week, and even each day, there is bad and good. It is up and down, and that is hard to communicate in a session. I want him to know about the really bad things and about the good or indifferent things too. Partly, on a meta-level, this up and down flux creates a meta-chaos that is bad. It is so confusing to hold it together and be understood and taken seriously.
So I then feel helpless and hopeless to ever communicate and then feel subsumed in the chaos.
There are 45 golden minutes a week to get real work done and to communicate, and that is what I blow. That's how it seems. I feel like I have wasted so much precious time. To help myself feel better I say what my therapist would say is his perspective on the issue-- that this time that has felt wasted is part of the process and has given us valuable info and was even a kind of communication. But I want to get beyond it into what feels real and true.
poster:Annabelle Smith
thread:975058
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20101228/msgs/975112.html