Posted by twinleaf on October 2, 2010, at 20:39:18
In reply to Re: Sometimes I get the idea,.... » twinleaf, posted by Dinah on October 2, 2010, at 19:47:03
I guess I must have been picking up on the frustration you feel at times. I just read an article by Fonagy and others about how, in contemporary therapy, transference issues have become much less important, interpretation usually fades into the background, and the real relationship between the two people not only takes center stage but is almost the only thing that matters. As far as the ruptures and repairs, he said that ruptures occurred readily enough but true repairs can be hard to achieve. Some of the things which were important were a willingness to apologize and a complete absense of defensiveness. He pointed out how hard that can be when both members of the dyad have become disappointed and angry. A true repair was supposed to be characterized by increased feelings of acceptance and well-being on BOTH people's parts, as well as a deepening of the connection. It's apparently strongly associated with getting better. Both people could usually look back and describe the experience as meaningful and important. Described that way, I guess it doesn't happen all that often. I'd say, for me, once or twice a year. Fonagy, in the paper, urged therapists to persevere until they had created the right conditions, but said that, after that, it was a serendipitious two-person happening.
poster:twinleaf
thread:964430
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20100831/msgs/964531.html