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Re: can you tell when your therapist tetrix

Posted by violette on September 9, 2010, at 11:21:39

In reply to Re: can you tell when your therapist, posted by tetrix on September 9, 2010, at 8:58:03

> yes.. I suspect that last time my T deliberately made a mistake in order to show me that it is OK to make mistakes.. but it was so trivial that it left me feeling uncomfortable, as if I am a child..

Oh I see..that would seriously annoy me! My T doesn't do things like that..he is too genuine...Well i'd like to think my T manipulates words and their expression rather than 'me'...carefully and subtly (to provoke, challenge, whatever). And when you read psychoanlytic case studies, that seems to be how it's done...but I can't see that i've ever veiwed it as fake or the example you've given.

> perhaps the word technique isnt the best choice but I don't know what to use instead..

Could always refer to it as the mechanics of therapy...or Ts 'position'...i mean the therapy is a range from supportive to expressive...words are used as tools-otherwise, there would be no therapy taking place-it would be just two people talking.

> well we are affected by what T's say or do because we trust that they "know and understand" what is going on with us and of course because they know a lot of intimate details that we wouldnt share with just anyone. There is also an element of respect of their opinion as opposed to a friend who doesnt have training in the field and is biased and subjective.

I can relate though for me, it's mostly child-parent transference every verbal and non-verbal communication is more intense..and has an effect on me-much like how a child would feel around his parent.

> I was curious if people are attuned to their therapist's manipulations... I think that I always see what mine is trying to do..

Hmm. I can only think of one time where i thought T manipulated me...he said something that i could not rationalize; i kept thinking of all the why's he said it..then later, felt anger...then thought maybe he said something to outsmart me, to get me to quit worked...i liked the affect, so i no longer cared 'why' he said it...and i now that i think of it-i rarely try to rationalize why he says things anymore; instead, i feel the emotional affect. That he did this makes me feel he cares for me to come up with a creative way to address this maladaptive trait. i still don't know for sure if that's why he said it, as it became irrelvent and turned out to be very therapeutic.

Sometimes when i feel provoked in some way by T, i evaluate myself first to see if i'm using projection... sometimes it's difficult to tell.

Are you going to ask her if she deliberately made a mistake? I would definitely address that..and am curious as to what she would say.




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