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Re: childhood attachment and maladaptive traits

Posted by emmanuel98 on September 3, 2010, at 19:46:23

In reply to childhood attachment and maladaptive traits Free, posted by violette on September 2, 2010, at 23:18:31

I read about attachment theory and I definitely have avoidant attachment. As a child, I walked away from my mother in a department store and walked to the car to wait for her, because I couldn't stand being around her. I was 3. At 5, I tried to run away from home. All my life, I avoided attachment (with two exceptions - my husband and my daughter) but by the time I was in my forties, all the defenses and rationalizations I used to deal with this maladaptive behavior came crashing down and I felt so lonely and depressed I couldn't bear it. I got addictied to drugs and that helped me hold on for a few years longer/ Then the drugs stopped working and I sought therapy. I immediately became so attached to my therapist that I would fall apart if he went away for a long weekend.

Therapy and getting attached like that helped me a lot. Going to AA and making friends for the first time in my life also helped a lot. But I still regard solitude, which I cultivated, working at research and academic jobs, as intolerable. I'm trying to get past that with DBT and am changing careers so I have a more social work environment.


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