Posted by violette on July 5, 2010, at 17:50:43
In reply to Re: 'You're Harmful!')))))emilyp, posted by Maria01 on July 5, 2010, at 14:13:29
I'd like to clarify something-the post you were referring to was a response to one of my posts; it had nothing to do with differences in opinion. Though it was interpreted that way, that was not my intent.
I had mistakenly thought another poster was devaluing-projecting upon others through communication mannerisms. In thinking she had thick defense mechanisms, in addition to some hypervigilance I was experiencing at the time, I had initially thought that 'being harsh' was the only way I could get my point across to the recipient.
I had acknowledged this was rude and inappropriate. But despite that, I either did not articulate myself well enough, others did not see the context through what I was initially describing-as unconscious motives are not always easy to identify (or in my case, can be mistaken), and/or none of the above. It had nothing to do with having a problem in differences in opinion; it was my response in regard to someone who said they felt 'belittled'.
Aside from, but relevant to, those involved in discussions here, I am starting to think that those who may pick up on this-whether it be real or erroneously felt, conscious or unconsious-may react with sensitivity.
Those expectations could be cultural or this concept could be more pronounced on this forum, but it seems those who may react sensitively to certain lingusitical styles are expected to adapt to those who may be more 'thick-skinned'/less sensitive to criticism, rather than the other way around. This is an observation as what is deemed civil or uncivil here-which does not seem to me to be related to differences in opinion, but instead, is judged by the administrator by unknown criteria (Lou P. could explain that more effectively than I). Others have mentioned the confusion.
Some social scientists have pointed out that from a cultural perspective, rather than a psychological perspective, certain traits associated with strength are viewed more favorably, at least in Western culture, than certain traits associated with fearfulness. And on a mental health forum, you might expect to see more individuals with polar levels of sensitivity.
If you came across other posts of mine, you might conclude I'm an enthusiastic proponent of expressions of differences in opinion and beliefs, and personally welcome disagreement, which I find more interesting than a group for which continual agreement is common.
Despite the miscommunication, I do understand where both you and Emily are coming from as I also do not feel comfortable in places were diversity in opinion is restricted, although I do have a very small list of exceptions, such as negative racial comments.
poster:violette
thread:952821
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20100529/msgs/953415.html