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Re: please be civil rnny

Posted by Dr. Bob on May 25, 2010, at 15:53:14

In reply to Re: i fear my t hates me, posted by rnny on May 22, 2010, at 11:17:29

> I am not here to insult or be insulted.

Please don't post anything that could lead others to feel accused (for example, of having insulted you).

But please don't take this personally, either, this doesn't mean I don't like you or think you're a bad person, and I'm sorry if this hurts you.

Annierose, I'm also sorry if you felt hurt.

> If you don't like my posts, responses, etc. just forward them to the administrator (Dr. Bob) for review.

And if you feel insulted, or injured, you can do that, too.

More information about posting policies and tips on alternative ways to express oneself, including a link to a nice post by Dinah on I-statements, are in the FAQ:

http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#enforce

> If you find my feedback to be not of your liking, do not read my posts. That would simplify things for you. I want to help others here and hopefully get help when I need it. When I said I am not here to win friends or influence people by the bystanders or onlookers I meant that I can't come to a board where there are literally hundreds of members and be concerned that my replies are going to be accepted by everyone. As stated in another post, what matters is how my response influences the person I am trying to 'help'. I do want to be sensitive to those around me but this is not group therapy ... Hence, there will be times when different people join the board and you don't like their style.
>
> rnny

> I think we all have to check in with ourselves about our own feelings towards therapist and our need for them to be perfect. There does seem to be someone what of a consistent angry tone around here lately - "dump her now!" when a therapist messes up. The relationship is usually more complicated than that.
>
> Daisym

I agree, it's up to each poster to decide whom they interact with. Sometimes interacting with others may be frustrating, staying civil may be a challenge, and new skills may be required. If the poster's open to developing new skills (that may not be why they came in the first place), that's another way in which they can be supported by other posters.

Also, there are also two sides to every coin. Someone could stay with a therapist who isn't helping -- or dump a therapist who is.

Bob


"a brilliant and reticent Web mastermind" -- The New York Times


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poster:Dr. Bob thread:948157
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20100425/msgs/948849.html