Posted by morganator on April 23, 2010, at 20:49:47 [reposted on April 25, 2010, at 0:36:48 | original URL]
In reply to Re: nothing helps, posted by Justherself54 on April 23, 2010, at 19:37:23
> I just have to look at my family history, past and present, to pretty much feel sure it's all genetic.
I'm sorry if this pisses you off, but I seriously doubt you had a perfect childhood. Do you remember everything that was going on when you were 2, 3, and 4 years old? Was your mom always able to be intimate with you? Did your mom ever suffer from depression or carry anxiety and stress during your crucial years of development? How would you even know if she had issues with connecting with you when you were too young to be able to remember? Did your parents always love you completely and utterly unconditionally without any expectations for you to be someone that they thought you should be? Did your parents ever fight? Did you ever feel like one of your siblings was better than you? Was your mother and father equally involved in your life always showing interest in you? Was your childhood completely free of criticism? Were your parents unreasonably strict? Did your parents spank you? Did your parents do everything in their power to ensure that you loved yourself unconditionally? Did your parents do everything in their power to ensure that you did not suffer from self esteem issues?(I know, basically the same question as before). Did your parents always compliment you when you did something good? Did your parents ever do anything to make you feel like they loved one of your siblings more than you?
My point here is that we now know parenting to be a very difficult very complicated job. Children are extremely fragile and delicate and need a whole lot of the right kind of nurturing in order to develop properly. And, some children need even more care and attention than others-or different care and attention.