Posted by BabyToes on April 6, 2010, at 22:20:58
In reply to Re: please rephrase that) Dr. BOb, posted by emmanuel98 on April 6, 2010, at 20:57:51
> When I quit regular therapy last winter, my T said it was good that I didn't want to hang around and have him be a "fantasy friend" for me.
I think that is good that your T sees that sometimes in clients and it is great he acknowledged your independence. A T feels good and knows he has done his job when he can send a client on his way to have good relationships and not have the client be reliant on them to be their only sense of support.When something happens to me through the week that might upset me, I turn to friends first for support and not my T. My T helps me in other areas but she doesn't want me to be clingy on her. Isolation is not a good thing and if a T can't help clients to trust others and form relationships outside of therapy, than that T isn't actually good for a client I feel.
But back to what rnny's T said, that she should try to form relationships with healthier people is actually good advice. I wouldn't want to marry anyone that unstable any more than I would want a close friend. There are some individuals that shouldn't mix with other individuals. Sometimes it is a pattern that needs to be broken. Kinda like abusive relationships, sometimes women will look for a mate that treats them bad because that is familiar to them because that is how they grew up. But getting the client to see that certain people just aren't the healthiest to develop friends with, is a good thing.
I teach my kids (who are teens now) to treat everyone with respect. But do I want them to hang out and be friends with drug dealers and criminals just to appreciate the good in everyone? Of course not! They are too impressionable at that age. So are newly mentally healthy people in a way. They need to learn who is healthy for them and who isn't.Some may feel offended by rnny's T comments, but I feel he gave her good advice in order for her to stay healthier herself.
poster:BabyToes
thread:941860
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20100405/msgs/942569.html