Posted by fleeting flutterby on January 29, 2010, at 17:36:03
In reply to Re: babsitter with 'mental health diagnosis', posted by pegasus on January 29, 2010, at 9:24:14
> Oh, wow, flutterby, I'm so sorry to have triggered you so much.<<
-----flutterby: No need to apologize-- you had no idea-- not your fault. :o)
>>I completely understand how this could be alarming to you. And it gives me a whole different perspective on the situation.<<----flutterby: thank you.
>
> If it makes you feel more safe, I'd like to explain some things about my daughter and myself and our relationship.<<---flutterby: Yes, this would help-thank you.
>> I'm pretty savvy and alert (I like to think) to the possibility of abuse. I used to volunteer at an agency that helped families touched by child abuse, so I've been through lots of training in recognizing the signs. I have done some work myself with clients who have a history of abuse, so I appreciate how serious and ubiquitous and insidious the issue is.<<
-----flutterby: while training can sure be helpful... it's not always fool proof..... it was a social worker that came to our house that missed the "signs".(as a child I thought to myself, "Oh FINALLY, something is going to be done about this nightmare"... but nothing came of it) I'm not saying you have missed or do miss "signs"-- just things can get overlooked, is all.
> My daughter is 5, and pretty communicative and opinionated. We discuss regularly how some people do things they should not do, and how I hope she will tell me if anyone does anything she doesn't like. She does often tell me about things she sees adults and kids do, and we talk it through............ And no one should ever hurt her or anyone else. We talk a lot about that, ........When we need a babysitter, I always ask her who she'd prefer (we have a couple), and she always chooses this one. I have talked to her about what she does with the babysitter. Her story matches the story of her best friend (and neighbor - the sitter often has the two of them at the same time) about what they do. I've come home quite early several times, and they always seem to be having fun. So, I really am pretty confident that nothing bad is happening with this sitter.<<----flutterby: thank you for explaining. (hugs to you) You do have a very good communication station on with her-- good on your part! it does take some of my worry away for your daughter... phew...(I worry for every child ever--*blushing*)
> But, as you say, sometimes the parent would be the last one to guess. I know how sometimes people choose to be blind to signs of things that they couldn't stand to face.<---flutterby: Yes, sometimes it's just too beyond belief to believe......
> I am going to try to find her probation officer (if there is one - my guess is yes), and talk to them. I learned last night that the "officials" who said she shouldn't babysit are 1) a school administrator, and 2) some law enforcement-related person that has something to do with her drug charge. So, it's not CPS or DSS or anything related to kids. Whew!<<--- flutterby-- best to you in this!
> But, as you all point out, I need to make sure my daughter is safe, above all else.<<
---flutterby: YES, child's safety and well being should ALWAYS come first. thanks for realizing that-- you really are a great mom.
>
> Thanks so much for putting so much into your post, flutterby. I appreciate it from my heart.
>
> PEg---flutterby: You are welcome. Please promise you will keep that little one safe. As it's been said-- "the children are our future"-- kindness and compassion towards children creates kind, compassionate adults.(IMO)
poster:fleeting flutterby
thread:935139
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20100128/msgs/935343.html