Posted by floatingbridge on October 25, 2009, at 15:04:57
In reply to Re: I feel sad...., posted by Sigismund on October 25, 2009, at 14:28:19
> >I think mourning can be just as real when our feelings weren't particularly positive.
>
> Yes
>
> The more our emotions are conflicted, the harder it can be.
> It is liable to be much simpler if the feelings toward the dead person were positive.Sigi & Dinah, Yes to both--when my dad died, the feelings of grief were really grief--for what could have been and also for what was. The feelings were very different than when my mom died. I was unable to really grieve--and I still carry it today--I work on this in therapy. Really mourning feels painful, but to me, oodles better than not being able to let go of what could have been (which, for some reason I was able to do with my dad).
To let go of what could have been, I call the end of the dream. I think it's healthy to wake up, though maybe painful. I'm a work in progress.
Best thoughts to you all, and to you Sid. Sounds like you have an ally in your brother.
fb
poster:floatingbridge
thread:922048
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20091022/msgs/922413.html