Posted by Dinah on September 2, 2009, at 17:30:18
In reply to What's wrong with judgement?, posted by backseatdriver on September 2, 2009, at 17:06:15
I used to say the same thing.
And I suppose the answer is nothing. There is nothing wrong with using judgment to decide who you want to be with or what you wish to do.
I guess as I get older, I see the problem as being judging an entire person by only a part of them. I still judge behavior, but I try not to judge a person only on that behavior.
Boy, I really have turned into a mother.
Not for them, so much, as for me. If I use judge people harshly for some of their behavior, I miss out on many rich relationships and hurt myself.
I suppose I still judge people (as opposed to behaviors) but I try not to do it without looking at the entire picture. And I suppose I try mainly to judge them for their kindness, generosity, and integrity.
But even there.... Some people aren't so kind to me, but may show a lot of kindness to others. I can respect that kindness and try to incorporate a positive regard to that person into my overall view of them.
Everyone has flaws and good qualities. If we don't accept that the bitter comes with the better, we end up rejecting a whole lot of people who could enrich our lives.
And of course, I'd prefer that others not judge me harshly, so there's that whole golden rule thing going on.
poster:Dinah
thread:915451
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090730/msgs/915458.html