Posted by Garnet71 on August 27, 2009, at 17:23:03
In reply to garnet: NPD question, posted by floatingbridge on August 27, 2009, at 15:41:57
Hi, This list may be a good source for answers you are looking for. More men are diagnosed with NPD, while women with BDP. IMO, NPD just shows up differently in women, but I view it as a core issue rather than exclusively symptomatic. Many women have both BPD and NPD traits. My mom had a lot of these traits;
http://www.nevergoodenough.com/survey.asp
I hear that is true about rage and NPD...But I don't know. Rage can manifest in covert ways-it can be passive aggressive, imo. My mom regularly went through rages where I thought she was going to have a heart attack, but she was not physically violent.
Once of the main concepts of NPD that I have personally experienced from some who suffer at the high end is being envious and (unconsciously) wanting to destroy those they love. Attracted to to people who have traits they desire and don't have--then wanting to destroy those very traits in that person (destructive envy).
Nothing is their fault, take no responsibility. No remorse or 'fake' remorse and no empathy. Molding to others interchangably; having no strong belief system or personality (one day like a song, the next day will hate it and not even remember they had told you they liked that song the day before). Very shallow conversations; no sense of identity.
Very charming and likable: "he is one of the nicest guys I've ever known". Love being the center of attention; craves being adored--must feed off the admiration of others to feel 'alive'. You are an extension of them rather than your seperate person-esp. mother/child relationship. Being a perpetual victim. Pathological lying. Gaslighting.
In a relationship, initially idealizing a person followed by a protracted devaluing to the point where the other person is left as an empty shell before they even knew what hit them.
I could probably go on forever.
poster:Garnet71
thread:914399
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090730/msgs/914423.html