Posted by Dinah on May 20, 2009, at 21:24:53
It turns out that there was grist for the mill in the fire drill, beyond the fee question. A hard look at things we tend to gloss over in the therapy room. The fact that I have trouble thinking of him as the same person he is inside the room when he's not inside the room. My feelings of social inferiority to him, and my conviction that he is "other". One of the outgoing, socially skilled, attractive group of people.
He tried to convince me of his geek credentials, but I'm not sure I bought it. Being smart and liking science fiction does not in itself buy you a ticket to that elite group. :)
He also mentioned how uncomfortable he was during the drill, trying to figure out what the professional sort of response should be. For a moment, his vulnerability showed through, and I felt a certain kinship. I'm not sure I liked that, but I appreciated it. If that makes sense.
Ironically, his pants were ripped, and after spending most of the session trying not to notice (which is my customary habit in those situations) I recollected something about it being more polite to point it out so that he won't go all day that way. Which was dreadfully embarrassing to both of us no doubt. And I'm not sure I'm not going to go back to not noticing from here on out. Still, it did buttress his position that he was imperfect. So to speak.
I've been very listless this week. So much so that my family keeps asking me what's wrong. I don't know that anything's wrong exactly. And I checked for hormonally induced problems and that doesn't fit. I'm just a bit depressed and listless. It might have something to do with being upset about something so stupid that I'm embarrassed to mention it to anyone, since everyone just laughs. Even my therapist had trouble keeping a straight face and not rolling his eyes. And my husband did laugh.
Ah well, I daresay this too shall pass. It might well come back, but it will pass.
poster:Dinah
thread:896886
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090515/msgs/896886.html