Posted by Dinah on March 4, 2009, at 9:42:16
In reply to long term therapy, posted by yellowbird01 on March 4, 2009, at 9:02:29
It'll be fourteen years on April 3 for me.
I don't think we have any defined goals per se right now. My issues weren't childhood abuse or neglect, although of course my childhood played a part in shaping who I am now, and my childhood had less than healthy aspects. But mostly it's biological. In fact, given my family history with mental illness, I think I probably got off lightly.
I've got, as I always say, the nervous system of an overly inbred cocker spaniel. No offense to cocker spaniels. I know many delightful cockers who are perfectly well adjusted. But a poorly bred spaniel seems to be the perfect example of what I'm looking for from my experience. That is never going to change.
Therapy not only teaches me better ways to cope and work around these things, but it is in itself one of the ways I cope. It keeps me up, relatively productive and working, and not prostrate from migraines. Risperdal works similarly, but it's bad for my diabetes when I rely on it too much. Ego glue, I call both therapy and Risperdal.
That being said, even without defined goals, therapy does help me change. And maybe find ways to keep my nervous system from going into a firestorm of impulses less often than it might if I hadn't changed. Sometimes he just purely helps me keep my head above water and nudges me to shore. But the times when that isn't necessary, we work on broader issues.
*My* goal in therapy this last year or more has been working on having more generosity of spirit. This involves letting go of hurts, trying to understand and see the best in people, trying not to make matters worse with my own response. Trying to consciously channel a loving feelings towards others. We get diverted a lot, and I wouldn't really say it's his goal except that he supports me in it and helps me with the cognitive processes. But as we work on it, I think I get some side benefits. Let me hasten to add that I'm nowhere near where I'd like to be in this, and probably never will be because I'm not sure it's my personal nature to be generous of spirit. I have to work hard at it. :(
So I guess what I'm saying is that if you pick a goal, any goal, along the lines of something that you want to change about yourself or your relationships, the reflective interaction with your therapist might branch out from that, and over time you may find yourself feeling differently about yourself and the world around you. I can read all I want, but I find in the give and take of therapeutic conversations (for want of a better word) the intellectual realizations become part of who I am, and I change.
Which may not be something that is helpful for you, or for anyone, but it has been helpful for me.
Plus of course keeping my head above water and steering me to shore when needed. Because the biological stuff is just there and it isn't going to go away.
Perhaps discussing it with your therapist will help you figure out whether there are potential unmined benefits in your situation?
By the way, I understand what people mean by overanalyzing. But I'm not sure I consider it possible if it's beneficial analyzing. I think sometimes it's possible to get caught up in detached, obscure, ruminations.
But how can thoughtful reflection and analysis ever be a problem? I wish the world had more of it.
poster:Dinah
thread:883687
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090227/msgs/883691.html