Posted by Dinah on March 4, 2009, at 8:13:04
In reply to Re: But I still leave feeling hurt sometimes, posted by FindingMyDesire on March 4, 2009, at 2:32:12
> Dinah,
> I know you have talked about the sleeping thing before and have a long-standing strong relationship with your T, but it sure shakes me when you mention it. I don't want it to be your responsibility to talk a certain way to keep him awake. I hope I'm not out-of-line by saying that. I know I must be projecting big time.No, I think that's true. And for years, he did try to take the blame. He had a heavy lunch. He hadn't gotten much sleep. But lately I've been trying to encourage him to go beyond that. That I'm secure enough in our relationship to admit that he's bored, or whatever. And since it made me start listening to myself when his eyes get droopy, I have heard how I sound, and I have heard that I'm way more than usually monotone. He's always mentioned that I speak softly when I'm most emotional.
Hmmmm... I think that's another point. He does know that I sound this way when I'm at my most emotional, not my least. So his saying to put more emotional energy in it probably felt like he was missing something that he was supposed to know about me. Yes, that feels right. I don't mind the topic in general. But I like to feel known.
> I get wanting to have them delighted. That is a perfect word for it. Tomorrow I am going to try to share something creative with my T that I have been holding back due to vulnerability and fear that she will not be... DELIGHTED in it. (I'm so glad to have that word now.) I don't want to see her have to think about it either. I agree that won't cut it!
Oh, that's wonderful! Please tell me how it goes!
> This stuff is SO HARD. I feel like if my T was reading this exchange she would (gently and lovingly) suggest that it is I (and you) who must learn to be delighted with ourselves. YUCK and whatever... It's not enough. It's just not.
>
> FMDI think at this point, my therapist wouldn't say that. He knows as a Montessori mother, I totally am in favor of this concept. But he also knows it isn't enough. I was looking for him to share in my own delight.
poster:Dinah
thread:883600
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090227/msgs/883675.html