Posted by rskontos on March 1, 2009, at 12:32:43
In reply to Re: Still here, but barely... trigger? » MusicLuv, posted by seldomseen on March 1, 2009, at 8:59:03
MusicLuv,
I can relate to all you are saying. I have had many a bad nights of behaving in a way that is not who I am. But then again, sometimes we just want to escape who we feel we are in the moment.
Don't beat yourself up. You did not put yourself in this position, the trauma that led to PSTD did. You are probably having a hard time dealing with it and all it means, and then giving the fact that the old messages in our head keep playing on it can seem overwhelming.
It is necessary, as hard as it is, not to read too much into why T called or didn't. What you really need is open dialogue between the two of you. This means you going out on a limb and trusting that you need her to help you and say what you want.
I know I know this is hard saying what you need. Life in the past has shown you just how hard it is, but for your own survival it is necessary. Remember no one can read our minds. As badly as we wish they could just so we would not have to voice all the bad we are feeling.
I am not sure if it helps to hear how others feel. But remember to go on and survive and try to get well means you win not the past. Just take a small step in feeling ok for a few seconds. And then build on that. You can do this, as hard as it seems.
You are not alone. We are here. We would be devastated at losing you. Remember that.
here is to some peace for a few minutes ((((MusicLuv))))))))
and know there are people out here that care.rsk
poster:rskontos
thread:883148
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090227/msgs/883208.html