Posted by workinprogress on February 4, 2009, at 10:33:37
In reply to Re: And I thought nothing would make me quit » workinprogress, posted by Dinah on February 4, 2009, at 10:04:39
Dinah,
I apologize. I did not understand that you brought it up already- somehow totally missed that. I guess it seemed so simple that if you said it made you ill he would change it. So if you and he didn't, well, that is a huge problem. I'm sorry he wasn't responsive. And yes, ultimatums are not where you look to first certainly, but you do have to take care of yourself. But therein lies the problem, if it makes you ill he should listen to that and trust you and change it. It isn't like taking it away HURTS anyone so there's some weird conflict. Or at least I can't imagine it.
I'll keep my fingers crossed that other clients bring it up. Seems quite possible certainly.
Good luck. What you're describing doesn't sound like it feels good physically OR emotionally.
xo
WIP
> I'm sure we could work it out. I just rather hope we don't have to. He's previously proved stubborn on things that are just common sense to me. I did explain how the situation affected me. That I was feeling sick, and that I thought it might be a problem with my migraines. And he gave some signs of being stubborn again.
>
> It took a few weeks of discussion before he understood how I felt when he checked his vibrating cell phone (left on the hard wooden table so that it made a racket whenever it vibrated) to see who had called. He still leaves it on the table and on vibrate, but rarely checks to see who called. To me that was a no-brainer. In fact, turning off the vibrator or stuffing it between cushions seems like a no-brainer. But apparently we don't have similar brains.
>
> This is not even a matter of respect, but a matter of my being physically ill. Yet I suspect he'll be just as stubborn. It is a situation where I do think I would have to make an ultimatum at some point. And ultimatums are never particularly good for relationships. Not even therapeutic relationships.
>
> So at this point, I still hold out hope that his other clients will express discomfort and he'll abandon the experiment. Given board reaction, and given the size of his office and how heavy the scent is, I think it's a reasonable hope.
>
> However, my reaction yesterday was strong enough that I will have to be fairly adamant about this. He's in a high rise, so opening a window is not an option. Maybe we could meet at his other office. Or maybe we could try having our sessions outside. He's always seemed intrigued by that possibility, while I've been concerned about privacy...
poster:workinprogress
thread:877794
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090129/msgs/877970.html