Psycho-Babble Psychology | about psychological treatments | Framed
This thread | Show all | Post follow-up | Start new thread | List of forums | Search | FAQ

OMG, I had an inopportune breakdown

Posted by llurpsienoodle on January 8, 2009, at 16:01:05

So, I had my supervision today, that's where we talk about my cases. Also, my supervisor just completed a 9 page evaluation on my progress as a clinician, and it was quite positive, and she was enthusiastic.

Good Cop.

Then we had our staff meeting. Supervisor mentions to me in passing- oh yeah, so, you'll be presenting case XXXX, plan on 30 minutes. Um. gulp. I did well with all the theory stuff, but in terms of who's going to set up the meetings and what our goals are this week, I kinda flopped. my supervisor is firing questions at me, in her uniquely piercing way. I try to keep my cool. All is well. I look mildly disorganized/perhaps incompetent. sigh. whatever.

Then supervisor asks the group "how was this meeting, with us firing questions at each other?" I blurted out "I felt fired at... um, not that you guys are a firing squad, or anything..." I actually am very fond of my colleagues; they are smarties and fun to be around, very competent and respectful. I decided to shut up

After the meeting, my supervisor came up to me and asked me whether that meeting was really stressful to me-- how did I feel?.

Well, I mumbled, that it was really the icing on the cake, and started tearing up. She said "come with me" and I grabbed a kleenex on the way out of the very public office. She found an unoccupied room, and tears are running down my face (as they are now when I type this). And I told her that my mom has cancer, that I am doing my best at compartmentalizing it, but sometimes it just doesn't work. [damn HER for asking me how I felt]. Anyways, she was very kind and patient, and said that she had taken my emotional stability for granted, and probably pushed me a little too hard.

Damn saline secretions.

I had an appt. afterwards, which is good. I cried in the car on the way over. and stopped for the appt., and then started crying again when h asked me how my day was.

Felt like calling my T "SEE???!!! I DO have feelings"

Maybe it doesn't help that I spent an hour presenting a case with a dual PTSD/bipolar diagnosis. It's hard to be dispassionate and talk about symptoms, when I kind of own some of them myself. At least I have more knowledge than the average clinician of this particular confluence of symptoms...

sorry so rambling.
gimme a hug and a kleenex. I'm a mess.

Ll


Share
Tweet  

Thread

 

Post a new follow-up

Your message only Include above post


Notify the administrators

They will then review this post with the posting guidelines in mind.

To contact them about something other than this post, please use this form instead.

 

Start a new thread

 
Google
dr-bob.org www
Search options and examples
[amazon] for
in

This thread | Show all | Post follow-up | Start new thread | FAQ
Psycho-Babble Psychology | Framed

poster:llurpsienoodle thread:872796
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081219/msgs/872796.html