Posted by Racer on November 29, 2008, at 11:26:12
I just got through an evening with my family. It included one piece of marked unpleasantness, involving a health crisis one member is experiencing. She said to me, at one point, "you'll have to move in with me to take care of me."
Now, this wasn't unexpected. She had made this expectation clear to me in the past. In the past, there was no immediacy, so it didn't seem worth confronting it. Last night I confronted it. I was polite, I said, "I love you -- and I can't do that."
She pushed, of course, because she does. "Why not?" And I managed to answer WITHOUT disclosing the to main reasons I can't -- I didn't disclose that I'm in school, nor the fact that this relative would make me crazy in a day. (Or less -- I'm saying a day because therapy has gone so well lately, and I feel so much stronger. I think I'd last longer than twenty minutes these days...)
She was angry, but didn't confront me much more about it. Nonetheless...
Now, I was forearmed -- I knew it was going to come up at some point, so I knew what I didn't want to say, and what I wanted to convey. Still, not easy.
Since holidays are hard for many of us, and Family Issues top the list, I figured this was a good opportunity to post accomplishments in this area, ways we've prepared and been successful in meeting the challenges. Anyone else have any to share?
poster:Racer
thread:865729
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081120/msgs/865729.html