Posted by twinleaf on November 6, 2008, at 16:36:41
In reply to Thank you » Nadezda, posted by Wittgensteinz on November 6, 2008, at 11:46:50
Hi Witti...I''m glad you posted, even in the middle of a mother visit and your intense repair struggles with your T. I'm a lot like you- no matter how painful things were in my inner life, i always seemed to be able to present a cheerful, accomodating, and even humorous self to my parents. I always used to hate myself for doing that, feeling that it was so false, and that I was ignoring the huge problems in our relationship. But now that I've lost both of them, my efforts to connect, and not overwhelm them with the clear problems we had don't seem nearly as bad as they once did.
As much as we might want to, none of us have the option of making a joyful, rewarding relationship with our parents= they do have to do their half, if things are going to work. Mostly, they have, sadly, not grown or changed enough (or had therapy enough) to be able to do this. We might think, "surely they must now realize what is needed for us to be happy with one another", but, most often, they really don't know.
It's impossible to read your posts here, over time, without finding out how intelligent you are .That's not going to change!
I do think that it can sometimes be a problem when therapists begin to realize that they are less gifted and intelligent than
their patients are. I hope that your therapist will keep focussed on the emotional and traumatic origins of your difficulties, and will let you spread your wings, when you are ready, in whatever direction you choose.Take care. It's always great when you post.
Twinleaf
poster:twinleaf
thread:860955
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081104/msgs/861153.html