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I irritated my T in session, now I'm acting out...

Posted by backseatdriver on October 8, 2008, at 22:12:52

Hi All,

I need your advice.

I had a rough session on Monday. T refused to accept a short story I'd just had published. He has refused other stories; he never gives a good reason. The best is, he doesn't want a dual relationship. My feeling is, I'm a writer, but you're not letting the writer into the room, so there's not even a single relationship here.

We go round and round.

Anyway, I thought maybe this time, things would be different!

Of course, they were not. Now I am emailing him: I will pay you for your time if you will only engage with my work.

I am holding myself hostage, in a way. But I want so much for him to see me. My writing is me, evoking another person's reverie. That's what I live for! (You can tell that I could never, ever catch my mother's eye, right?)

Here's my question: I'm about to quit therapy. Is he retraumatizing me, or is he pushing me to a greater level of independence and autonomy? How can I tell the difference?

Thanks, Babblers,
BSD


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poster:backseatdriver thread:856504
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081005/msgs/856504.html