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Re: Self Harm (triggers)

Posted by onceupon on September 25, 2008, at 9:10:30

In reply to Self Harm (triggers), posted by JayMac on September 23, 2008, at 13:11:51

I used to cut, but haven't in about 8 years. Most cuts were pretty superficial, but I have a few larger scars of which I am quite ashamed (on my forearms). But no longer to the point where I try to hide it.

Why was feeling like I was going to explode, or maybe implode. Like my nervous system was in high gear and nothing, but nothing would settle it down except cutting. It organizes the mind in a very clear way. It was also about wanting to feel *something* - to break out of the numbness that I would often experience.

I think it was a combination of finding the right antidepressant (after 3-4 years of searching - a tricyclic - the SSRIs made me more agitated) and a wonderful therapy relationship that helped me to calm down and stop hating myself so much.

Why the curiosity?

> Maybe this is too serious to talk about here, but I'm curious if any of you self harm?
>
> This is a very touchy subject with me. I'm in major denial. Yet, as a topic, I find self-harm/parasuicial behavior extremely facinating.
>
> I'm wondering if any of you do it, and what do you do, where, and why?

 

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