Posted by Partlycloudy on September 8, 2008, at 12:33:03
In reply to Re: Feeling okay, feeling like I don't need T » Partlycloudy, posted by lemonaide on September 8, 2008, at 11:40:33
Thanks for asking, Lemonaide. I'm still feeling the aftershocks, just like this was an earthquake or something. We were all ready to throw all of her stuff out (take it to Goodwill or some other charity), and I said, let's text her one more time, just so she knows what she's doing. And 8 hours later, she texted us back with, "don't through away my stuff! I'll PROBABLY be there tomorrow!" You can just about picture me banging my head against the wall. I'm trying to go forward, and this woman just isn't ready to let go. I really don't expect her to show up today. Then we'll have to come with another ultimatum, though I'd rather just go through with the threat and be done with it. ("You said you'd be here, so when you didn't show up, we presumed you didn't want us to keep it." But that totally smacks of us acting like *ssh*l*s, which might be what I want to do! but don't have the cojones to ever go through with IRL.)
And, of course, there are other stressors. My father in law is pretty ill with lymphoma, and is in and out of the hospital. My mother in law is a basket case trying to care for him. My DH has been to see them a couple of times, but he really isn't handling it well at all. This past time he came back and said, that's it - I'm not going back until the funeral. I'll thinking, is he kidding, or is he joking in this sick way because he doesn't know how else to respond? He's totally not one to talk about his feelings. An entire family of"stuffers", they just stuff their feelings into sick jokes, into alcohol, into uncomfortable silences.
So my back is still really hurting me, but I'm getting treatment for it. I'm relying pretty heavily on my therapist at the moment. Working through some heavy duty stuff on forgiveness, as I've mentioned before - which is totally SUCKY work, but I'm determined to get through this. I think that's where I'm at right now.
(Sorry to go on...)
poster:Partlycloudy
thread:850959
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080906/msgs/850993.html