Posted by susan47 on September 3, 2008, at 17:45:28
In reply to Re: OMG » susan47, posted by Racer on September 3, 2008, at 17:29:06
> I'm glad you found it helpful, Susan.
>
> Maybe it would help you to think of Borderline in a different, more supportive way? There was something I read in Linehan's book about how BPD would develop -- she used the example of a sensitive child whose parents didn't respond to lower key requests for appropriate attention, but did respond once the child had escalated. That's describing a learned behavior -- the desired result is obtained by escalating, so why not skip the unsuccessful model? Why not go straight to Tantrum Mode? The child never learns appropriately modulated emotions, because his/her emotions are only addressed at extremes.
>
I wonder what happens if no emotions are ever addressed, unless they're the emotions of the parent, and then those are usually negative. Even the positive ones were the parental emotions. I don't even remember how a real need was expressed, other than by sullen means.. negative, it had to be negative because if it was something that might cause actual Joy, then that couldn't be allowed. But ask that parent today if any of that ever took place, and of course the answer is that I'm making it up, I'm delusional perhaps, that's not the way it was At All.> If you think of the emotional dysregulation as a learned behavior, which can be UNlearned with effort on your part, does that help you see it more charitably?
It's never easy being charitable with myself. I have so much anxiety over my very existence. (I think that I might be becoming neurotic... not good at my age, with my prognosis, being a drug-addicted Borderline is not a happy situation. But then, so many people in life don't have happy situations, and I can do something about mine. I can.
>
> I'm very glad what I wrote helped.I'm just sorry I'm so emotional all the time, Racer, I'm constantly emoting all over the place, and I'm very very depressed. Is that my persona? Is that just who I've chosen to be, because my ex-T has rejected me?
poster:susan47
thread:849018
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080826/msgs/850132.html