Posted by Dinah on August 11, 2008, at 11:53:30
In reply to How do you know when to say when?, posted by Amanda29 on August 10, 2008, at 14:51:03
I remember thinking, when you posted the thread above, if you were trying to discover this experientially. :)
Why don't you ask him?
My therapist was pretty clear on the boundaries he was comfortable with. He didn't mind if I drove by his house. He didn't want me knocking on his door, or sitting in my car outside.
He didn't mind my calling him on the cell phone number he gave me, even if I was just calling to listen to his answering service message. But he'd be angry if I called his home number.
He didn't mind my googling him, or making note of anything that showed up about him in the newspaper. But he didn't want me investigating things that weren't public records.
It was good to ask, and good to have him tell me, because there was no longer any wondering. He tried at first to say that he'd tell me if I'd crossed a line *when* I crossed it. But that wasn't sufficient for me. I wanted to know before I crossed it. He might have been a bit exasperated with me for my persistence, since he didn't think I'd do anything he wouldn't find acceptable, but he did clarify for me.
poster:Dinah
thread:845377
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080810/msgs/845500.html