Posted by Dinah on August 6, 2008, at 10:35:01
In reply to Seeing my therapist as a real person, posted by Annierose on August 6, 2008, at 8:18:25
I *do* think seeing your therapist as a real person is the next step to therapy. As raisinb said, the intense transference gives way to something else. Something that helps with that infernal growing up.
Since Katrina, I've seen so much of the real person of my therapist that I've grown a warm affection toward him. Since I'm me, I also maintain the magic because that's very important to me. But then, I also maintained an elaborate structure of rationalizations that let me believe in Santa long past when I was being told outright that there was no such thing.
I may know him to be a real person, but that doesn't mean I want to meet him elsewhere. He says he's the same person in his office and out, but he's not. He's not even the same person on the phone. And there may be things in his shopping cart - condoms, lubricants, jock itch medication, anti-diarrhea suppositories, mega sized jugs of cheap wine - that might not change how I saw him, but would definitely be *too much information*.
And... It does hurt to see them with loved ones. And realize however real their feelings are in that room, they aren't the same as those outside feelings. I don't envy my therapist's wife, I don't care about him in a wifely way, but it somehow stung to hear him sign off his conversation with her with an "I love you". If I were to see him with his very young niece, I might well gnash my teeth and drum my feet on the floor.
So... I dunno. I guess I can see both sides. I originally wrote "be" both sides. I need to think about that slip. :)
I think it is lovely to see your relationship with her unfold.
poster:Dinah
thread:844526
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080727/msgs/844548.html