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Re: But now he thinks I'm an addict. Very long. So » raisinb

Posted by Dinah on July 17, 2008, at 18:21:01

In reply to Re: But now he thinks I'm an addict. Very long. So » Dinah, posted by raisinb on July 17, 2008, at 12:48:58

I used to think it was solely chemical. Part of the OCD because it's very very similar to OCD thoughts in quality. I'd call it the flip side to the OCD. We treated it from that angle, since really it's more destructive to my life than the negative thoughts.

But I started noticing that these things weren't really random. That they served a psychological function. When I was upset or stressed something like this would flip on. An enthusiasm, or an OCD fear, or a self injury obsession. When it was over I had pretty much put aside what I was upset about. It didn't seem like something that fit so perfectly with life events could be totally chemical in nature. Although I'm sure chemical processes play an important role, I'm just not sure that chemical processes trigger it.

It could be that the brain takes the path of least resistance. Since I'm hardwired for certain things, maybe my brain uses those things in a not entirely purposeful, but not entirely random, sort of way. If that makes sense. My brains sort of pushes an already loaded cart onto an already prepared railway track when for some reason it believes a diversion is needed.

My brain has been watching too many Hogan's Heroes reruns. :) "Ok, Carter. You and Newkirk create a diversion..."

I'm on almost no psych meds right now, actually. The migraine prophylaxis I'm on, Lamictal, doubles as a mood stabilizer. And even after going through a long withdrawal period, I can't avoid early morning wakings without .5 mg Klonopin each night. And I take Risperdal, my beloved ego strength in a bottle, as needed when my anxiety levels go too high. Mmmmm.... Risperdal.....

I suppose the Provigil is also a psych med, though I consider it a stay awake med.

 

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poster:Dinah thread:840077
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