Posted by 10derHeart on June 14, 2008, at 18:00:40
In reply to Re: Crying in therapy, posted by seldomseen on June 14, 2008, at 17:04:20
My experience was about the same as Seldom's. Rivers, streams, lakes, possibly an ocean toward the end as I "prepared" (ha!) to move 2000 miles away from him. He took tears seriously, but without overtly commenting on them at all. He often looked sad, but no other major reactions. He's been doing this for 30+ years so he's seen an awful lot of tears, from so many people, for so many reasons, I suppose.
But, I've never been one to mind crying in front of most other people (except at work) too much, anyway, except for the problem of how physically ugly I think I look while doing it, so I probably never had the usual anxiety about the possibility of crying in therapy. I was going there *to* cry. In fact, I can't think of too many sessions where I didn't cry - somewhere from a few, random tears to full blown multi-tissue cover-my-face-I-look-so-gross crying. I'm a crier - period.
My T. was neutral to quietly caring about me crying - as I'm sure the vast majority are. Very important for me, too, as I had experienced criticism and complete dismissal of the feelings behind it in my past, by an ex-husband and and ex-boyfriend. I'm sure I would have been hurt and confused by any similar reactions from my T.
He used to say, just like when I'd get angry, raise my voice, and curse - then apologize, "I don't mind when you (swear)(cry) at all. It's part of what I'm here for. It just communicates how intensely you're feeling something and how important it is to you. Why wouldn't I want to know that?" ((ex-T.)))
I'll bet it'll go fine if you do cry, and probably be a big relief. Can you talk to your T. about your fears of crying or show him your post, maybe before it happens, when you're feeling more dispassionate? That might help, if it's something you think you could do.
poster:10derHeart
thread:834618
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080524/msgs/834646.html