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Re: Fighting to relationship..... again seldomseen

Posted by Dinah on May 9, 2008, at 22:44:27

In reply to Re: Fighting to relationship..... again Dinah, posted by seldomseen on May 9, 2008, at 19:17:47

Oh, I hope no makeup therapy next time. I want boring old usual therapy.

When I was growing up, fights in the family were so destructive and so nasty. For the first many years in therapy, I remember that if I thought he was angry with me, I'd put my hands over my ears and whimper "please don't be mad at me". And he'd try to explain that anger could be a healthy part of a good relationship.

I guess that's another thing that he slowly shaped over the years. The fact that I can now think of a "good" fight, and that I can see the difference between the sort of fight my parents had and the sort of fight people have when they keep caring and respect in mind tells a lot about how this kind of therapy works.

I could have heard him say it a million times and never taken it in. But by experiencing it over and over, I can take these things and hopefully generalize them. Of course the problem is that the people in my family haven't gone to therapy and learned it. But still, in limited ways I can apply it elsewhere.

 

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poster:Dinah thread:828225
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080508/msgs/828290.html