Posted by DAisym on April 4, 2008, at 17:27:19
In reply to Not sure what to do....., posted by Quintal on April 4, 2008, at 16:16:00
I really hope you contact him. I imagine he is just as nervous to contact you and making the first move is a huge gift.
We have parent-to-parent connections a lot in my business. These folks don't know each other but what they have in common is a disability - either themselves or their child. They talk about this - about how it has effected their life, how to get services, what works and what doesn't and sometimes just how alone they feel. Having someone else who sort-of understands is really helpful most of the time.
You might start with, "X thought we might find talking helpful. I'm not sure if it will be, but I figured if I could use some support, so could you."
Think about what you would want from this contact. It might be you want to feel less isolated. It might be you want resources. It might be that you want to help him. But knowing what you want is one way to direct things. And then I think it is helpful to know what you don't want. You don't want someone who only tells really morose stories, you don't want someone who is hateful or angry, you don't want someone who needs you to move in and do their laundry. Having preset boundaries for yourself is really helpful.
I'm glad you are considering this idea. Social support is something we all need, and we are all scared of initiating it.
Good luck, let me know how it goes.