Posted by Dinah on March 21, 2008, at 19:04:07 [reposted on March 21, 2008, at 19:04:48 | original URL]
Our thirteenth anniversary is April 3, although I think I'll be seeing him on the 1st and 4th rather than the third.
I wasn't planning to give him anything really. But a couple of things have come up lately that lend themselves well to gifts.
I told him that if he were a dog, I thought he'd be a Newfoundland. So I found a blank card with a Newfie on front, and I thought I'd just write "thank you" inside.
And we recently discussed how long term therapy can be seen as like a river and a rock. The river runs over the rock over time, and smooths and shapes it. So I thought I'd give him a river rock.
My problem is this. Most river rocks I've found have been tumbled. So they're not really shaped only by the river. But there are some pretty ones, and they're the right size. Very small.
I also have a rock I've had forever, that really was shaped by a stream. Probably near my grandparent's home. Since those of you familiar with our area might know that there's not a natural rock here for miles and miles and miles. Shells maybe, but not rocks. But I'm a bit cautious to give that rock. It's a bit large, maybe four inches. And it's far from perfect. There is a definite irregularity at the bottom. It's not shiny or pretty at all. Just a whitish rock that's interesting because of the shapes the river carved into it. Moreover, because I've had it for so long, I might be more invested in it than I would be just giving any rock I purchased for the occasion.
And while I know he understands and appreciates the metaphor, I'm not sure he appreciates it enough to treasure this rather plainish river rock that may be interesting but not particularly attractive. (Boy, is that a loaded question or what?)
I'm inclined to use a smaller rock, even if it has been tumbled. Because a smaller rock will take up less space in his life, and thus be less of an intrusion. And because I won't be as invested in it or likely to be hurt.
poster:Dinah
thread:819304
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080321/msgs/819304.html