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Re: Feel so rejected by therapist widget

Posted by Dinah on February 8, 2008, at 16:06:05

In reply to Feel so rejected by therapist, posted by widget on February 8, 2008, at 11:50:50

I'm guessing it was meant well. He was probably trying to say that he wasn't upset with you.

Did you mention at the time how you felt about what he said? I've learned over time (almost always) to say something like "ouch" so that we have a chance to discuss it in real time. Because as likely as not he'd have forgotten it by the next session and I'd have been left trying to explain the situation and he'd have claimed to not remember at all what he meant.

I think it's definitely something to mention next time.

My therapist has always been in charge of making his own appointments, cancellations, etc. - even when he was at a clinic. Except for one time when he was sharing an office that had a secretary. I remember how bereft I felt when he told me to talk to the secretary about making an appointment. I hadn't realized how much the appointment setting ritual felt caring. I nearly burst into tears and he started suggesting times then asking the secretary to finalize them.

So telling him how what he said sounded to you really is a useful thing to do. He can either clear up what he did mean, or he can realize that his words mean something to his clients.

 

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poster:Dinah thread:811520
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080126/msgs/811563.html