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Re: Male or female T?

Posted by Dinah on February 3, 2008, at 8:08:20

In reply to Male or female T?, posted by Maxime on February 1, 2008, at 23:06:07

My experience with adjunct therapy and a previous therapy as an adolescent is that I have trouble with therapists of both genders. Of the various therapists I've seen, some have been too soft, some have been too hard, and only two, one male one female, have been just right. Also, I'd have left my male therapist in a heartbeat for my female neurologist if she did therapy. I don't connect really easily but I have a history of being able to connect to only a very few therapists and that gender isn't important in that.

That being said, I am often intimidated IRL by well groomed women, and are afraid they are judging me negatively. Moreover, at times this fear is justified. I had the distinct impression that my third therapist (T3) felt more positively toward me in our initial sessions on the phone, and was more inclined to interpret what I said negatively in person. She also made at least two comments about my appearance. Comments I'm reasonably sure a male therapist would not have made so early in our acquaintance.

So if I were to go out looking for a new therapist, I'd probably wish to look for a man. But if I were presented with a roomful of existing therapists from which to choose, I could choose the one that felt just right, and gender would likely be a nonissue.

I'll be the first to say I probably should work on issues related to my mother. But I don't think gender would play a major role in evoking her.




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