Posted by widget on January 8, 2008, at 8:32:48
In reply to Re: Falling in love with your psychiatrist, posted by muffled on January 5, 2008, at 10:55:16
I couldn't agree more with what you said. I realize I want "too much" from my psychiatrist. I hate his "boundaries" which I feel keep HIM safe from me and, perhaps, other patients whom I hate to think even exist. We seem to be coming from such different perspectives. I was trying to tell him how I'm sometimes hurt by the fact that I am one of many and not super special to him. I must admit, in retrospect, that he listened intently and asked me to be more specific about what I needed and was not getting from him. At one point, he said something about (these are his feelings) how he thought he showed a lot of caring to work with someone who had so little self love (ouch!) to try to help that person get better. I think he may have been frustrated or annoyed or both. Hmmm. oh, well, since I want him to fall in love with me, I guess we are coming from different perspectives and he, truly, will never fulfill my needs. And, yes, I know that is inappropriate of me but it is where I am and it is tough. However, I have tried and tried to convince him to fall in love with me and it just isn't working! (Surprise?) So, I must say I am getting tired of hitting my head against the stone wall of his resistance and perhaps he just would never have fallen in love with me even if I were not a patient. And, that is the very frustrating part--never really knowing his real feelings for me. If I had to guess, he is truly concerned and wants me to get better. He is invested in this and does care in that way. But, beyond that, I am another patient and he cares about all of us. And, that doesn't seem to be enough but that's what there is. How very frustrating!!!!! But, from his point of view, he is caring a lot and doing his job, too, not just because I pay him. He said if he didn't really care I would (as any patient) realize it. That you can't fake it. So, he is being real and doing his best. And, I still want more and that's the problem and he can't fix it because he doesn't see me that way and it would be against ethics, etc. I think if I knew I had somehow touched him in a special way but he knew that was his business and was inappropriate to share with me, that would be enough. I don't think this is the case. Even if it were, he could never tell me. What a catch-22! I understand the rules of his game (no personal involvement with a patient) but if only he had those feelings for me, if only, but couldn't act on them, that would be wonderful. I think I would accept that. So, I keep wondering if I may really trigger something more in him that is inappropriate but will never know. This makes for craziness!! I never thought this would happen. But, it sure has. Widget
poster:widget
thread:804259
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080101/msgs/805044.html