Posted by wishingstar on December 26, 2007, at 16:56:20
In reply to Re: Maxime, please post in the morning.... » rskontos, posted by Maxime on December 26, 2007, at 13:07:35
Maxime.. I havent read the whole thread but I feel I can relate to what you are saying. I also have been diagnosed borderline and I truly believe the diagnosis itself helped me to get worse, for awhile. It's such a terrible label. A therapist would never (we hope!) call someone some of the names/words that the diagnosis can imply, but will throw the catch all word (borderline) around and expect it wont feel like a big deal. I understand that it does feel like a big deal and I dont blame you for wanting to avoid it.
One thing that one therapist told me about it was this. He said, borderline is just the label we give to people when they arent getting better and we dont know why. I'm not saying there arent true borderlines out there.. I think there are.. but I think its hugely overdiagnosed. I work in mental health and my colleagues love it. People say that if you cut, you're borderline. It's just not true.
I dont really know you, but I'm still going to say.. you're not crazy. Maybe you have some borderline tendancies, maybe you dont, I dont know. But either way, it's not YOU. I know that I have some borderline-ish qualities (although I think the diagnosis, for me, is wrong). It makes me feel better to remember that the problems with abandonment, the fears, the hurts.. theyre learned. I'm not a bad person, I'm not crazy.. I just learned the lessons any child would have learned growing up in my home. I'm not a failure because of that. It's darn hard to unlearn some of them, but it's doable, I believe. Dont let them define who you are. Only you know who you really are, what you're really feeling, and what you really need. If borderline really does fit for you, that's okay. It just means it's time to start working on some of those areas and unlearning the hard things you were taught in the past. If it doesnt fit, dont let them force it on you. I've found that the more you argue, the more the doctors insist the diagnosis fits. What I'm finally come to do is just accept that theyre going to use that label and take what I can from their treatment and leave the rest. If I'm getting help that is useful, either in the moment or long term, and the treatment is being created out of a borderline-treatment-model, fine. If it works, it works. They can tell me I have ebola if they want, as long as the meds they gave me make my cold go away. Know what I mean? It's not easy.. I know.
I dont know why I'm saying all this. I dont know if it even fits for you. I hope some part of it resonates.
Aside from all this, please get the help you need. I've been inpatient three times. I've worked in the past as a counselor and that made it a very hard decision for me. Each time I said I'd rather die than go back to the hospital. It's not a fun place to be, I know. But we want you to be safe. I know I dont know you, but I would care if you died. Please take care of you. The times you dont want to are when you probably need to the most.
(((((((Hugs))))))))
feel free to babblemail me if you need to talk.
poster:wishingstar
thread:802535
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20071215/msgs/802750.html