Posted by muffled on December 25, 2007, at 22:01:35
In reply to Re: Please, I need support, posted by Maxime on December 25, 2007, at 21:13:38
Yeah, hotlines have limitations.
I have used them a quite few times in the past to no avail.
I also have had a degree of help from them, if just to hear a kind human voice speaking to me.
One time they literally saved my life.
So don't totally give up on those crisis lines...I am not sure what your hosp history is. Did you have a bad experience?
I have had both.
I also now would struggle with the so called shame of going to the looney bin for a 'breakdown'. Its pretty small town where I live so everyone would know.
I would be embarrassed.
HOWEVER, if it comes down to it, for me, hosp, shame and all, is better than my kids losing their Mom. It would hurt all my family, sisters, hubby etc very much if I offed myself.
So please do not discount hospital as an option. Another babbler recently went in, under much resistance, and it was OK. It was a good thing she went in. It was not so bad as she had thot it was gonna be.As for cutting. Well, many do not agree with my views. But I am a longtime very experienced cutter. And I say cutting HAS saved my life more than once. It is a pretty darn poor coping mechanism, but there are worse ones....(eg. 'dangerosity'- taking great dangerous risks on purpose, street drug use, suicide...etc)
So 'safe' cutting is IMHO a tool to be used as a last ditch effort, but like I said, its better than the above options.
So if you MUST cut, try and cut safe. Stay away from veins, try to do it in places that don't show, and scar the least.
Keep the area clean B4 and after. If its gaping, go get stitches. Its OK to goto emerg. I dunno if its the right thing to do, but I just lie bout how I got 'injured'....cuz I don't want trouble over them making me see a P-doc. Though one time I remember being in, and a I over heard a nurse saying I'd done it myself etc, and they did question me slightly, but I lied and I DID say I would take care of the wound carefully, and they were good with that. Unless they clearly think you are at great danger to yourself or others, they will NOT admit you. They CAN'T. So do not be afraid to goto emerg as needed.So I am sorry you are feeling bad. This will pass. I spent the first year and more in therapy in continuous crisis mode. I felt so bad.
But now I am not. Still have my moments, but not at all like B4.
I also rarely cut, and if so, not badly at all.
So there is hope.
Hang in there.
Muffled
poster:muffled
thread:802535
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20071215/msgs/802617.html