Posted by happyflower on October 31, 2007, at 12:25:40
In reply to HappyFlower?, posted by Dory on October 31, 2007, at 8:47:00
Thanks Dory for thinking of me. I have been trying to get caught up on my school work because next week is my concert. I just got a card from the Philharmonic today, that was sweet of them to think of me.
Baby Lia is still doing well under the circumstances, and I think that is what is making it so hard now. We don't know when the end will be so it is hard on everyone because everything is up in the air. She isn't in any pain since she is on some morphine, but she is more alert than ever before because she is older. This has got to be one of the sadest things to endure.
I am still so sad about my brother, my grief seems to catch me at the strangest times. I wish I knew more about the situation, but since my mom is next to kin, she is the one notified of the results of the autopsy. So I probably won't know unless a relative lets me know. I am certainly not going to call her up. I do know he is being cremated, but no services, no nothing. My mom was wiped her hands clean of my brother. Well I refuse to allow her to win with me. The best revenge it so live the best life possible. I am thinking I need to do my own memorial service for him. Any ideas? I do have all his old pictures, maybe putting the ones that remind me the most of him into a frame..
Today I had T and he kept dosing off! I was talking how tired I was, but he was falling asleep. I finally said, "are you tired too?"
He said, yeah, he just got back from the airport from an very early flight this morning. But he also told me he suffers from narcolepsy too and how hard it is to be a T with that because T's without it sometimes have trouble staying awake. It was a good bonding session, talked about surface stuff mostly. I told him I appreciate his honesty he has with me. I told how he allowed himself to deal some of his discomfort with me talking about my old T has allowed me to move on now because old T would never discuss this with me. But today I finally made it to the gym and it is so sad knowing I will never see him walk through those doors again or see him jog around the track. I didn't get much exercising done today because everyone stopped me and asked where I have been. Oh well, I will get some exercise with trick or treating tonight with the kids.I think I need a nap. I hate to do it, because it is like catch 22, because then I can't sleep tonight. But tonight rehearsal is till 10pm , so I need some sleep.
poster:happyflower
thread:792499
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20071022/msgs/792538.html