Posted by muffled on October 12, 2007, at 21:56:19
In reply to Re: So if YOU were the T..would this make you mad?, posted by Phillipa on October 12, 2007, at 19:59:08
Thanks guys, I DID re-sched meeting with P.M., in case she don't dump me...
i guess another concern I have...is that maybe she be taking these breaks cuz she IS having troubles herself?
Dunno. Mebbe its just me, but she does have quite a few breaks it seems. Like she went away, but she also took anuther week off too even though she home.
And she has cut down her hours. She used to work, well I'm not sure, but i think she worked kinda mon-fri sort of thing. He home situ has changed, so mebbe its just that, but I dunno....
And she says she's 'there', but in reality she is not. She is there Tues/Wed and thats bout it. In my mind. Tho the e-mail helps. But I e-mail WAY too much. She already does so much by leaving messages and phoning. i gonna suck her dry :-( I am a soul sucker, gonna wreck her.
I don't think my concerns are totally fabricated in my mind. They are based on the truth of what I know of my T (which is some, but not much proly).
And she is gentle and kind mostly....though I bet she got a temper!!!but i don't get to see it. Too bad, bet she can get REALLY mad! LOL!
Mebbe she get real mad at me :-(
Therapy sucks.
It just sucks.
But I just goto have inner peace, or one day I will die of it.
And my IRL kids need their ma.
Pain=growth.
So I s'pose i'm a better person for all this.
I want to help others too.
I read bout Justice circles. Maybe that. I was a delinquent (convicted but no juvytime, no adult record) so I can relate.
Just got to get it together.
I wished T's were around more.
But boundaries make sense.
But sometimes....I just wish somehow...I dunno...I guess I wished I could actually let go for a bit, steada holding all tight all the time, and only being allowed to vent pressure by SI. Cuz SI shows I tough. SI got no tears. So its allowed.
Damn.
Damn.
Damn.
I feel real alone.
Know I am not.
But 'cept for babble & T, nobbody knows bout US.
Sucks.
It all sucks.
Sorry.
M
poster:muffled
thread:788772
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20071009/msgs/788856.html