Posted by Scentedgarden on October 9, 2007, at 10:49:29
In reply to Takecare, hope all will be well for you as can be » sunnydays, posted by muffled on October 8, 2007, at 21:33:50
Thanks Muff.. thanks for being so nice to me always.
To sunnydays, i didn't mean anything by that, it certainly wasn't directed at anyone in particular. And certainly not to you. I don't even know you! So i will apologise to you and to anyone else you feels my 'assumptions' are inaccurate, or inoffensive.
This is exactly what i mean tho about this place, you cant say Jack without it being called uncivil, or whatever. okay not always but often enuf for it to bug the living daylights out of this garden.
Sunny, whatever is happening in your life with the huge progress really IS huge. I'm glad for you. And I'm glad for anyone who gets their life going again.
There are many special people all over these boards, we are all special in our own way, and its relief of pain and some answers to things re out therapy etc that drive us into the land of 'world wide web' and as a result 'us lot' {{as in anyone who only reads, or posts}} have found babble boards. I myself found them when i was beginning to care for a therapist whom i had no attraction to whatsoever for around the first 18 months of CBT therapy. I googled until i dropped, and i landed here. It took me over a year to say anything. I would read the post about loving and being in love and sexual attraction , and counter transference etc etc.
Then I got up the cohones to post my wee bit. My tuppence worth, but i must say it was with trepidation as have noticed that I don't fit into forums very well. And it's always good to know ones limitations. So I probably should have remained silent, but crazy lady like me had to get involved. There was a time at the beginning of the year when my T had me in a state of utter distress; thru her lies and sudden change of tone with me. One person here in particular was n angel to me... and for that I am very grateful that i took the chance ans didn't remain silent.
To Happyflower, I am sorry if i said that I am at this moment having to rely on what you say as I couldn't remember if you blocked me or other way, or both.. lol - This is what happens when i get close to some people, not all but some..
I will go ahead and remove the block thing on my private email, and then if you so wish to at any time you are more then welcome to contact me. I have often thot of you and would have liked to say Hi, but when i fall out with people its always so final, so i didn't know if you would -
anyway its not to matter now.
My life span in virtual reality is probably past its 'sell by date' i only came back on the other night because i was so angry at my T for all the years we didn't actually talk about what i wanted to talk about.
Now to Dory, I think that is why I was so full on with you the other night in the private email, i was acting out my anger at not having been able to say what i wanted to say to the Therapist i loved so much because it made her feel uncomfortable. I think i am going around taking it out on everyone else, by just being very direct and straight to what i have to say.
But that doesn't excuse the insensitive nature with which i wrote you. I was drunk for the first time in over 4 years.. all thru therapy i didn't drink, now i am finding my feet again without the best mum and the worst therapist i ever had. ( she would have been a gr8 mum, but she is a bad therapist IMO)
I would like to apologise for the way it looked, but i was not trying to make you do anything, i was only saying how it is for me. and genuinely asking you ,'how is it for you' i honestly am/was interested as i have no knowledge of that.
If you had been there you would have understood i wasn't being aggressive to your ways of thinking. NEVER!!! why would i do that???
I'm not perfect and I'm many things that are maybe not the best, but I'm not a judgemental person. I was asking questions, and offering my take on my belief. It was open for discussion, although i was over doing it i accept that, but it wasn't as you thought, in that i 'was trying to make you do anything or dissecting what you had to say, i was only presenting where I am and asking you to share with me where you are.
I don't know if you believe that Dory, but its the truth. I'm glad u realise that i wasn't trying to be mean, and that i thot i was in some way just being bluntly honest about my way of thinking. That's all..! I don't need anyone to agree with me. But I'm willing to have a debate about it from a very personal and practical viewpoint. I wanted to know how your worked for you in all seriousness.. i was NOT disrespecting, or judging you or it.
Why would I?? It makes no difference to my life what you think. Anyway had i not been worse for wear on alcohol id have said less. But it was all said as a conversation that i hoped you'd answer line by line or precept by precept. Obviously I cam across all wrong and that made you block me. That's your choice and if |I make you feel like blocking me that is absolutely fine! But, as you quoted what Gandhi said, I would agree with him. So all I ask is that you consider maybe to not make your mind up about Christianity based on me or Christians. Cos I'm a crazy lady sometimes and only saved by Grace. But I do mean well Dory, and I am sad that you blocked me. But your entitled to block me if you want.
To everyone who reads this and likes me here, I'm hurting heaps [[right in my wee part of the world]]] now with conflicting emotions that came from my Fecking therapy relationship. I sometimes wish id never stayed in therapy.
I don't have another therapist I just said that ..but these days my therapist is my friends or family or whoever as my life moves on.
I'm done now.
Take care
so long farewellP.S. I'm so glad we all met
and Im so glad u have been kind to me on this thread. I dont think i could deal with any more hurt right now.
Thank you - and respect to all and everyone as you travel on your journey.
May the road always rise to meet you.
poster:Scentedgarden
thread:787896
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20071009/msgs/788065.html