Posted by Dinah on October 6, 2007, at 17:24:02
In reply to Re: :-( :-( Dunno WHAT to do***SEX trigger***:-(, posted by muffled on October 6, 2007, at 16:25:51
ICK.
I think that would fall firmly into the too much info category. I absolutely do not want to know what my therapist does when he's being intimate with his wife, no matter how joyful it feels.
Thank God he knows he's my therapist/mommy, and knows that mommies aren't supposed to talk about such things with their therapee/little girls.
Mind you, he never would do that because he's a Ken doll. So I don't need to worry about him saying anything because he just DOESN'T.
But still. ICK.
I think you need to talk to your husband a bit. Morning would not be at all ok with me no matter who was in bed with me. I can barely sit up without feeling queasy in the morning. Anyone who tried to touch me would be in danger of losing body parts.
This would fall into the category of allowing yourself to have a bit more control about the when and how of it.
Believe me, Muffled. The mechanics really do make a difference. It sounds like stupid little things that won't fix the enormity of what's going on, but it's not. Part of the enormity of what's going on has to do with feeling like you're being pressed into something you're not willing to do. Little changes can make a BIIIIG difference.
It doesn't need to be framed in negative terms with your husband. It can be framed in positive terms. "Sweetie, I like to be giving with you, but I really can't feel comfortable in the morning with a little one in bed (or waiting outside the door wanting Mom). Can we arrange to have a date on Thursday night, after the kids go to bed?"
It sounds as if a conversation with your therapist might be a good idea as well. If you've only talked about it in context of joyful crying. (Jeesh. Joyful crying? I can't imagine. Is this the same range of activities we're discussing?)
poster:Dinah
thread:785464
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070929/msgs/787340.html