Posted by B2chica on October 4, 2007, at 14:20:26
In reply to Re: can't remember » B2chica, posted by happyflower on October 4, 2007, at 14:02:18
thnx HF....
i think actually verbalizing it (at babble) has helped some.
and quite frankly about forgetting last night...i'm kinda laughing at it. cuz DH and i haven't been intimate a lot since little one was born...and this morning on phone when i first said..."seriously?" he laughed and said oh ya, the one time i was good and you don't remember!"
so he kinda laughed it off and didn't say anything else. i am too. i'm just saying it was the xanax and that i was tired...
i like this little land of denial, you should visit sometime! :^)
besides...until i know otherwise...i'm gonna stick with that story. laughter has always saved me in the past...its a great defense mechanism ya know!and the thought process and where it takes me thinking of hospital in this state....chills me to the bone and i can't even go there.
so unless i'm holding a "tool" toward me or others i'm not gonna go.i think what brought this on was tuesday's session. i think i posted above but at the last minute of session i was triggered (when i was little one) and it didn't really set in right away....it turns out it was something i hadn't remembered, but it seems little one did. anyway i barely left session and went down the hall and littleone came out...long story short...me in a ball next to the exit door, someone must have got T cuz next i know she knelling down next to me/littleone. i tell her about hurt and she try to get her in and say next session tell her. so i get better and leave.
well, earlier during that session teen came out and stayed longer than she ever had before.
to wrap this up when i called T yesterday she had a talk with littleone (tuesday) telling her to stay in until sessions, and said maybe she should have had two talks instead of one that day....meaning with teen too.
so i think all this was:
1.left over emotion from tuesday's session
2.the inner kids are understanding 'coming out' now and are doing it but don't understand there is a time and place.
3.i don't know how in the hell i'm supposed to 'contain', restrain, or whatever them so they don't come out whenever the hell they want!then my head turns to mush along with my body cuz i'm SO freaking exhausted.
************************overall, i'm feeling a little better today.
i think i spaced/dissociate a bit this morning cuz i lost about an hour here at work.but overall i think i'm feeling better now.
just kinda freaked about stuff.
i'm so glad you wrote though.
thanks HFoh, and i only have net access here at work and i leave in an hour and half so, so i won't probably see any responses till tomorrow.
Thank you so much though.
poster:B2chica
thread:786838
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070929/msgs/786873.html