Posted by twinleaf on September 28, 2007, at 22:26:23
In reply to Re: Hearing Ts give presentations » twinleaf, posted by RealMe on September 28, 2007, at 21:21:02
What he did was so amazing and horrible that, not only was I traumatized to the point where I was barely making it through my work, but I was having a terrible time eating and sleeping. My husband would make easy-to-eat food, like oatmeal and fruit, and I would throw it right up. For months I alternated between long bouts of crying, equally long bouts of rage, blaming myself for being a terrible patient, blaming him for being a terrible analyst, longing for the good analyst he had been previously- just on and on. I have a very good new analyst, like you, and am starting to feel a lot better now.
The new analyst was completely horrified, as well. He knows this man, and I think he also still has trouble believing it- he keeps saying "tragic", "very sad" and things like that- although I have felt from the beginning that he has believed everything I've told him. We've just come to the conclusion that some kind of powerful negative counter-transference was going on with him, and that he didn't take the proper steps of consultation, or, if necessary, a supportive transfer of me to someone else. He is a senior training analyst- probably too arrogant to do that. Instead, he really acted crazy. It sounds like your previous one, while not as bad as mine, was pretty bad, also- and harmful. Thank goodness we both have such good new ones.
I've finished my training- the last year being a teaching fellowship in academic medicine given by the Harvard School of Public Health; I see patients, teach medical students and run our residency training program in a medical center associated with a medical school. I didn't mean that I feel I'm less well-trained; it's just that very few neurologists go to these psychoanalytic conferences, so at times I feel a bit different from the others. I do think all sorts of doctors could benefit from going to some of them. The best of them are really wonderful.
If I do go to that conference, I'm afraid that if I sat in the front row and stared at him, which I sometimes feel like doing, he might break down and start yelling AGAIN! I think I'll have to slip in the back.
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poster:twinleaf
thread:785471
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070916/msgs/785833.html