Posted by LlurpsieNoodle on September 14, 2007, at 17:23:57
In reply to Re: T apologized... '*triggers* » LlurpsieNoodle, posted by Honore on September 14, 2007, at 17:01:25
> Did I miss this, or were you saying you were uncomfortable because of things that have happened (ie the car incident, the dream, coming too many times/week), or did you become uncomfortable after he said you might not need to come more than 1x per week?
I was already uncomfortable about all the other stuff this week, but looking forward to seeing him 2x a week on a regular basis- i.e. getting back to therapy schedule after chaotic summer. Then I felt rejected after he said that I might not need to see him more than 1x a week. To me that feels like I'm not important, or that my issues are trivial, or that I'm not ready to work on intense stuff.
I feel like much of my recent gains in sanity have come due to psychotropic medication and lifestyle changes, rather than psychological insight. I would like to have more insight as to why/how to feel better, so that I can do it sans medication next time (if necessary).
>
> But mostly, you know. I think he's trying to figure out what you can tolerate, what fits your psyche now, not judge or reject you. He's probably worried that seeing him too often, too soon, may drive you away-- be too intense-- or too invasive--
>I never thought of that. Maybe I like it when therapy is intense, but I haven't communicated that in any sense. I didn't really tell him about all the stuff I went through with my formerT in 9 months.
> But, back to what I was wondering: what would it mean, to come once, or to come twice-- to you, or to him(ie what do you imagine it would mean, or feel like, to him)?
I would like to get at some of the icky stuff in my past, to be able to share authentic emotions with him. right now I feel like I'm kind of playacting having feelings, and it doesn't feel honest somehow. I'd like to work on this terror I have of men. I think that it requires a lot of trust on my part and a lot of reassurance on T's part that therapy is a good place for that to happen. My other goal this fall is to get as far away from crisis-llurpsie as possible. Figure out where she comes from and how to keep her at bay, hopefully for a long long time.
I'm not sure what he wants. I think he wants a nice comfy practice. I think he enjoys seeing a client who is kind of intellectual. He said I was an appealing client at my 2nd session with him, so I genuinely believe that he likes me. but-- does he have room for me? I hope so? I really do.
>
> And I'm glad apologized. I feel he's some kind of over-eager dog who jumped up on you, and you were almost knocked over. (Isnt' that weird??)
haha- that's a good image. I like that better than the T who stalks parking-lot-llurpsies lol
poster:LlurpsieNoodle
thread:782448
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070904/msgs/782934.html