Posted by DAisym on September 9, 2007, at 16:02:18
In reply to Major crisis of faith with my therapist, posted by widget on September 9, 2007, at 8:12:46
As uncomfortable as this is, it is also one of those darn "therapeutic opportunities." (Don't you hate those?)
Here is a way to concretely not do what someone you really, really care about suggested - and to find out they will not stop caring about you. Or to do it a different way than they have. The point being that you make your own choice, different from their's perhaps, and the relationship survives. Wow - scary stuff.
Six months ago, my therapist got really, really angry during a session. Not at me, at my father - and at the story I'd told him. His response scared me - so much I drove home and then called and quit therapy. My message was, "I can't do what you want me to so I guess we are done." He apologized for not containing his own stuff, as well as mine, but he really pushed for us to explore why I couldn't say no to something but keep the relationship. Why did I assume if I didn't do this, he'd stop wanting to be my therapist? (And he spent a lot of time telling me how great it was that I'd stood up for myself, even if was extreme.) It was a really hard thing for me - risking this hugely important relationship by saying "this isn't right for me" - but I learned something and it deepened our connection. One more time I learned that being perfect is an impossible job.
I know how difficult this is. But trust the relationship and your therapist. He just wants what is best for you, whatever you decide.
poster:DAisym
thread:781757
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070904/msgs/781853.html