Posted by Racer on September 7, 2007, at 1:37:41
This is a related topic, but different from the above...
Aside from the talk about needing her last week, I also told her I was quitting group. Last week was my last session of group, and -- since we were talking about something I thought was more important -- it was a doorknob disclosure. I did tell the group last week that I was quitting, at least for now.
Today, my T brought that up -- and it was what I was afraid of: she thought that was me acting out because I was pissed at her. She said she understood and believed me when I told her the real reason I was quitting, but it brought up another whole can of worms. I quit because another woman was re-joining the group, and she drives me out of my gourd! I just can't take her right now -- I was so thrilled when she quit group, I can't even begin to tell you.
Of course, my T said that it would have helped the group a lot if I had said part of what drives me so nuts with this woman: "So, uh, if you're so good at everything, and so recovered -- why are you here?" Part of me says, "Well, it will keep the group going, and I can help by saying that to bring it out, and that would be doing good..." But no -- I still quit.
Now I'm kinda spinning -- I'm proud of myself for not doing something simply to feel as though I'm taking care of my T, the group, etc. But I'm also feeling as though I can't really take credit for doing that, because of the timing with the transference issues, etc.
Would someone just -- make it stop?
I did tell my T something I said to someone the other day: "How do I feel? I don't know -- I came from a very poor family, we couldn't afford feelings for EVERYONE." That is how I feel, quite often...
poster:Racer
thread:781316
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070904/msgs/781316.html