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Re: Magic Moment - very long DAisym

Posted by RealMe on September 2, 2007, at 3:01:37

In reply to Re: Magic Moment - very long RealMe, posted by DAisym on September 2, 2007, at 1:02:43


I am not doing therapy with people right now, just evaluations. I don't want to try to do therapy while I am so up and down and feel so wretched sometimes.

I already went through a lot of therapy and worked on most of my mother issues years ago; I knew that by not working on csa stuff, someday it would come back and bite me. It has. After therapy for around 11 years, I went back to school for my doctorate and then did a postdoctoral fellowship where my old therapist was.

So, my old therapist died the end of 2004, and this is when all the unresolved stuff came back. I had not seen him in over 10 years and was doing fairly well. When I heard he had died, I was devastated. I saw him altoghether inpatient and then outpatient for a total of 11 years, I think it was. He was pschoanalytically oriented. So after I decided to see someone, that person is the one who kept pushing the ECT. He said he was "psychodynamic." Hah; that was a joke right there. A generic what???

So, now the analyst I see says he thinks I should lie on the couch too. No way; at least not know. He has a two chairs that are at right angles with the couch at either end, and I would sit in the chair way across from him. I sat on the couch last time at the end furthest from him but still closer than the chair and pictured what it would be like if I sad at the other end. We would be playing footsy with each other, we would be that close; no way! There is where my head would be if I would lie down. UGH. He would be so close to my head he could practically whisper in my ear. That just spokes me out. One day maybe I will lie down, but not now. I put a pillow like a barricade on the side of me that is closest to him. This all sounds so silly, but it isn't is it??





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