Posted by Dory on August 31, 2007, at 20:58:55
In reply to Re: please help » Dory, posted by honore on August 31, 2007, at 18:20:03
what a thoughtful response honore.. thank you. Dinah's post did have a lot of wisdom in it and i am trying hard to put my own situation into that context.
he didn't say he wanted less calls, or even respond less exactly.... or both if it confuses things more. *sigh.. i suck.
he decided, without talking with me about it first, that if i didn't specifically ask him to call, then he wouldn't generally... and more to the point, he wanted to discourage me re-checking. He felt that i needed to be able to look around me for concrete evidence for or against what i was feeling. Had he acted in an angry manner for example...
i was ok that he hadn't called... sort of.. i would make my natural assumption i shouldn't have called though..
i was so upset because he changed a rule without telling me or preparing me first. He could have given me a new voicemail meant for this, or he could have gone over ways to reassure myself... anything. It left me feeling that he was unpredictable.
i don't think he feels i call too often, more that he thinks that i need to try to find things within myself sometimes... and even then he will call if i ask specifically for him to do so.
Talking with him today helped a lot as i know i can at least still get relief if i feel it's more than i can take... he said that was absolutely ok. i think Tuesday is going to be a big session. But i don't know.. i don't know what he will think of how i feel about calling to check the connection... it was close to the end of session and i got flooded and confused. i can't imediately make sense of such feelings and couldn't explain what i felt or why or what i really wanted from him about it.
i am hoping that when i explain better just what it is i am needing from him, then maybe we can reach some sort of middle ground which moves towards what he wants from me, but maybe in a way i can deal with.
i am clinging to you guys for this weekend for sure... and i am likely to re-examine my self-ban... i don't know... staying on babble presents some big ethical problems for me, i just love you guys though.
poster:Dory
thread:779947
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070822/msgs/780079.html