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Re: saw my old T

Posted by honore on August 28, 2007, at 13:13:20

In reply to Re: saw my old T RealMe, posted by Happyflower 1 :-) on August 28, 2007, at 6:02:13

Happyflower, you've done a lot in leaving your T and finding a new T who can reach you in deeper and clearer ways. I really admire how much you could grow, despite all the anguish and disappointment and even disillusionment that you faced in doing so. The things you wrote about your old T, above, are so insightful and so full of a kind of ability to be honest about what happened-- there's nothing bad or corrosive about that. It's an example of how much someone can accomplish and how much awareness even of one's own distortions when one is very involved with someone can be constructive, not a source of further self-hatred. And of it's especially good that you can also acknowledge your attachment to your old T, and how valuable it was-- how sad you are to let the good parts of the relationship go. It's not that it's black and white-- the complexity is so important.

I'm particularly impressed with your realization that you didn't and couldn't trust your old T-- and that ultimately you can't do the work you need without that trust. To have found a new T, and to have made the transition is remarkable-- even if you may at some point seem some of his limitations too-- you'll be ready to accept and work with them-- and perhaps to see them also as opportunities for growth. But I'm especially happy that you've found someone who makes you feel warm, and cared for, and given new strength.

I anyway got nothing but a sense of hope for myself in my own future progress from all that you said-- not in any way anything bad, or destructive.






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