Posted by meeple on August 23, 2007, at 5:33:11
my therapist is a beautiful man
kind
so kind
such a kind smile
such a soothing voice
such safe deliberate gestures
but he is killing me with his words
precisely because he is so kind.shame
it is an emotion apparently
a feeling
but it damned well isn't
its greater than that
its bigger than thatfreud thought that explanation bottomed out with the oedipal complex
once that came out the analysis was done
kohut thought that explanation bottomed out with
fragmentation
once that came out the analysis was done
though the analysis isn't done
one needs to build up defences
defences
one needs to defend oneself
from the feeling
the feeling that accompanies the distorted, writhing figures
the feeling that accompanies the faces dripping black
the feeling that accompanies the terror and repulsion
the horror the horror
breaking up
explosions from inside
and the body fragments off
into tiny needles of glass
exploding outwards
how many will i hurt along the way?but smooth it over with kindness
wrap it in care and attention and love
and why is it that they only scream all the louder?
the more care
the more horror
the more love
the more hurtwhy did life have to be that way?
why?
Why?
WHY?
i don't understand
i don't understand why it hurts so much
so much
so much
why it will never go away.
will it ever go away?
please
please
please
please
pleaseshut me up now
please
i don't like the noise i make
poster:meeple
thread:777970
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070822/msgs/777970.html